


Being Human

by Sliceofmooncake (Aesoteric)



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anxiety, Drabble, Food Issues, Gen, Human Cole, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-29 20:09:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5140937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesoteric/pseuds/Sliceofmooncake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles centered around a more human Cole and the challenges that go with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Cole likes the Inquisitor. She leaves her door open so that he can come in without making any noise and doesn’t mind if he just sits in the corner and watches. She smiles about him when he enters, but not at him. She knows he is there but doesn’t snag her eyes on him unless he speaks first. She lets him decide. Solas comes to her sometimes and they talk, eyes and voices teasing and flitting like courting birds, or they lie in front of the fire and Solas tells stories until the room is slow and warm with it. They could be a closed circle of two but they aren’t; their shoulders say they know he is here and they do not mind. They are his friends and they are in love and somehow that makes it even better. 

Lately the Inquisitor has food in her room on more than one plate: one near her desk when she works, and one near the stairs. He doesn’t think its for the rats even though they would like it. He doesn’t touch it for the first week because he isn’t sure what it’s for, but after that there’s a little note with his name on it next to the plate. For him? Cole knows more about food now, but he can’t go to the big dining hall with the others yet. There are too many eyes. Someone he doesn’t know might talk to him and he wouldn’t know what to do. The food on the plate makes him angry because it isn’t her business. All the learning-things-that-everyone-else-already-knows he does when no one’s looking is supposed to be secret. He doesn’t always need help. He leaves without touching it and stays away until the realization that he is trying to punish her stuns him so much that he nearly gets trampled by an ox-cart. He didn’t mean to do that. That’s not what he does. This has gone all wrong somehow.

He goes to see her. She is brushing her hair before bed when he enters, and he deliberately makes noise on the stairs so she knows she is supposed to turn around. She smiles hopeful-worried at him,  
“Hello, Cole.”  
“Why do you leave food for me?”  
“You don’t seem to like people watching you eat, so I wanted you to have something you could get to easily in a quiet place.”  
Oh.  
“You were trying to help.”  
“I’m obviously not as good at it as you are.”  
“You weren’t meant to know that. It’s... private.” Embarrassment sticky like spider webs all over and he wants something he can dig his foot his foot into. “Not ‘poor Cole’, I don’t need help.”  
She sighs and rubs her eyes.  
“You’re right, I’m sorry. It was a bad idea.”  
“It was a good idea, but it should have been me. My responsibility.” He touches the amulet beneath his shirt and it hums at him comfortingly. He can feel the Inquisitor’s tangles below the surface, knots of _concern_ and _protect_ and something that hasn’t decided whether or not it is _little brother_ yet.  
“I just worry that you’re getting hit with more right now than the rest of us and that’s not fair.”  
“You’re putting the sky back together.”  
Pleasure and surprise brighten her face and she laughs.  
“You’re developing a sense of humor.”  
“Other things, too.” The stickiness is gone and the room is soft like candles. “You made a mistake, but you really just want me to be not-alone unless I want to.”  
“That’s all, I swear. Will you forgive me?”  
“Yes.” Cole smiles at the floor.  
“I’m glad, I’ve missed you. Will you be back tonight? Maybe I can lure Solas out of his dungeon.”  
“Research-room. Maybe, but there are things I need to do first.” There’s a soldier in the infirmary who’s been having nightmares ever since she lost her leg, but if he hums the “Little Flower” song she hears it and realizes that she’s just dreaming.  
“Alright, you know where to find me.”  
When he goes, he leaves the door open.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole and a cat. No, really, that's all. Originally on tumblr.

Cole sits very still. He has been sitting in the barn for almost an hour watching the little brown cat go about its business. The barn and everything in it belongs to her, but she allows the horses and the men to come and go. She hasn’t decided whether he is permitted here yet or not. Animals have never liked him. After he’d died, he had tried to make friends with the animals in the Spire but it hadn’t worked. The horses in the stable had rolled their eyes and stomped, and the cats had swatted the air around his feet and hissed. He remembers being very sad about that, it would have been nice to have someone to pet and talk to besides the dying mages. That was before he met Rhys. He is different now and he has been hoping that they will notice.  
The Inquisitor had asked him if he’d like a rabbit to take care of, but Cole doesn’t want a pet. People own pets, they treat them like toys to be played with and discarded when they’re not new anymore. Pets mean cages that shrink the world to nothing but let the invading hands in. He wants to be...likable to the cat, and others.  
Animals don’t like being stared at, so he watches the brown cat out of the corner of his eye as she moves through the hayloft casually re-establishing her claim over the space as she makes up her mind about him. She flicks her tail, considering and he turns a palm up on his knee. She takes the invitation as her due and sniffs delicately, putting together pieces of ‘boy’ and ‘outside’ until she comes up with something that makes sense. She regards him with amber eyes, and then deliberately rubs her cheek against his knee. _Mine/acceptable._ He lets his hand down lightly on the back of her neck and she graciously allows it, turning herself into a silken arch to encourage him further. He knows he is doing it right when she closes her eyes _(good boy)_ and he smiles until his face hurts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steps forward, accidents, recoveries. Oh, and cookies.

The plate wasn’t empty. It had a few jealous crumbs still on it, but there were supposed to be cookies.

Cole had gone to the kitchen (Tilly, Gretchen, Amriel) and asked for them. Ducked his head so he couldn’t see past his hat and said ‘please’, feeling raw as an oyster pried out of its shell. But Tilly _(little bird, her mother had called her)_ had said yes and given him a whole plate. _Poor frightened thing, looks like he’s never had a kind word in his life._ He hadn’t said ‘thank you’, he’d just bolted out of the kitchen, anxious legs tangling. He found a closet and sat with his head against his knees until his skin didn’t hurt anymore.

The cookies smelled good, Sera would like them. She liked sweet things _(life’s too short not to go after the sweet stuff, yeah?)._ His mouth was more wet than usual, that meant ‘want food’. Varric said to eat when his body wanted food. Cole thinks he remembers cookies from Before. They really smelled very good. 

He didn’t mean to, but they were soft and bright with cinnamon and felt so good in his mouth, and now they were gone. He didn’t have anything for Sera and that meant he’d have to go back to the kitchen and ask again, and he doesn’t think he can stand it. He went to find Varric.

Varric was in his room off the great hall, smelling like ink and absorption. Writing. Happy.

“Hey, Cole.”

“You said to ask if I needed help.”

“Sure, what’s up?” Varric put his quill back in the inkwell.

“I ate the cookies.” Cole showed him the plate. “They were for Sera but I ate them. I didn’t mean to.”

“Whoops.” Varric chuckled, fond and wry at the same time. “Well, you aren’t the first.”

“I went into the kitchen to get them.” Cole’s knuckles whitened. “They all saw me and I asked.”

“Hey, good for you! That’s a big step!”

“But the cookies are gone now and I don’t want to go back.” Please. Not just yet. Maybe in a few days, or a week he’d feel less exposed and he could try again.

“Too much too soon? Okay, this can be fixed. C’mon.” Varic swung his legs around and slid off his chair.

“Where are we going?”

“The kitchen. Or rather, I am going to the kitchen and you are going to stay out in the hallway where the kitchen staff isn’t going to see you.” Down the hallway, up the stones steps to the kitchen. Varric opens the door halfway and walks in. Cole stays behind the door and listens.

“Tilly! I smelled something incredible and knew you had to be working your magic in here again.”

“You have a good nose, Master Tethras.”

“What kind of writer would I be if I didn’t notice the important details? And cookies are definitely important.”

“Oh, no, keep your hands off those, they’re for later.”

“How can you be so cruel? I’m in the middle of the latest chapter of “Hard in Hightown” and I need sustenance!”

“There’s a new one?”

“Well, there was going to be, but then my creative process got waylaid by a desperate need for cookies.”

“You are terrible. Fine. Don’t tell anyone you got these.”

“My lips are sealed. You, Tilly, are a peach.”

“Oh, hush.”

“A peach. Don’t think I don’t notice.” The door opened again and Varric came out smiling with a fresh plate of cookies. “Ta-da! Problem solved.”

“That was good.”

“I have a way with words, what can I say?” Varric paused and looked down at the plate. “You know, I get why the first batch vanished. These smell really good.”

“Varric, no.”

“C’mon, just one? You ate a dozen earlier.”

“They’re for Sera.”

“She doesn’t need all of them. Wait–Cole! Cole get back here with those! I earned those cookies, you sneaky little shit!” Laughter bubbles in the great hall as Cole bolts for the courtyard with the cookies in hand, Varric pounding behind him. The laughter is Cole’s and for once he doesn’t mind that others can hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Varric is Cole's big brother. I'm just saying.


End file.
